Florida Man Gear — Outrageously Original, Infamously Florida
Welcome to Florida Man Gear, where jaw-dropping headlines and swamp-soaked satire collide! Inspired by the internet’s favorite folk anti-hero, our apparel and accessories bring the wild, weird, and wonderfully bizarre tales of the Sunshine State to life — one mugshot at a time.
Shop the GearBorn in the Swamp. Raised on Headlines.
Florida Man Gear is more than a brand — it’s a lifestyle inspired by the legendary headlines that make Florida the capital of chaotic charm. Whether you're a native, a visitor, or just a fan of unpredictable weirdness, our tees, hats, mugs, and merch turn tabloid into trend.
We celebrate everything from gator-toting grandpas to skydiving streakers in Seminole County. Our designs are wearable news, keeping you in style — and possibly on a list.
WANTED: Florida Man Who Robbed Wendy’s with an Alligator
In a drive-thru debacle that could only happen in Florida, a local man attempted to “pay” for his fast-food order by hurling a live alligator through the Wendy’s window.
Eyewitnesses claim the man shouted, “This is how we do it in the Everglades!” before launching the gator over the counter. While the employees screamed and scrambled, the suspect casually waited for his combo meal to be prepared.
Authorities later confirmed that the alligator was approximately 3.5 feet long, slightly confused, and “not thrilled to be used as legal tender.” Wildlife officials released the reptile safely into a nearby canal — the Florida Man, however, was not so lucky.
- Charge: Assault with a deadly reptile & improper use of Florida wildlife
- Status: Currently banned from all Wendy’s locations and petting zoos
- Baron, Mike (Author)
- English (Publication Language)
- 428 Pages - 09/11/2019 (Publication Date) - Wolfpack Publishing (Publisher)
WANTED: Florida Man Who Danced on a Police Car Claiming to Be “Thor”
It was a stormy Tuesday in downtown Daytona when officers spotted a shirtless man climbing onto the hood of a parked patrol car — hammer in hand and hair blowing wildly in the wind.
Witnesses said he began shouting, “I am the God of Thunder!” before performing what appeared to be an interpretive lightning dance atop the cruiser. He pounded the roof with a homemade mallet made from PVC pipe and duct tape, causing minor damage and major confusion.
When approached, he struck a heroic pose, flexed, and challenged officers to a duel “in Valhalla.” The incident ended peacefully after officers offered him a juice box and assured him that Asgard would be proud.
- Charge: Public intoxication and impersonating a Norse deity
- Status: Awaiting trial and possibly a Marvel sponsorship deal
- Crunkalicious, Diablo (Author)
- English (Publication Language)
- 69 Pages - 01/18/2023 (Publication Date) - Rascal Face Media (Publisher)
Track the Florida Man Phenomenon
Our interactive map lets you track Florida Man sightings across the state — like a paranormal expedition gone wrong (or just a slow news day in Ocala).
WANTED: Florida Man Who Assaulted a Clerk with Grilled Chicken
In the sticky heat of a Key Largo afternoon, a 58-year-old Florida Man—wearing nothing but flip-flops and a floral shirt—reportedly became “extremely agitated” after his grilled chicken sandwich was served without extra pickles.
Rather than requesting a manager like a normal citizen, he launched the sandwich like a fastball across the counter, striking the cashier in the shoulder with remarkable aim. Witnesses said he then shouted, “That’s fowl play!” and attempted to flee on a rented beach cruiser.
Law enforcement caught up with him near a local bait shop where he was ordering smoked mullet and yelling into a conch shell.
- Charge: Assault with a (delicious) weapon
- Status: Still insists it was self-defense against “bad seasoning”
- Crunkalicious, Diablo (Author)
- English (Publication Language)
- 73 Pages - 08/26/2020 (Publication Date) - Independently published (Publisher)
WANTED: Florida Man Caught Riding a Lawnmower Down the Highway While Drinking Mountain Dew
On a slow Sunday morning in Putnam County, deputies were dispatched to reports of a man riding a lawnmower... in the middle of U.S. Highway 17.
The suspect, later identified as “Florida Man,” was shirtless, sunburned, and double-fisting Mountain Dew while weaving in and out of traffic at a blazing 5 miles per hour. When pulled over, he reportedly asked, “Y’all ever heard of Nascar?”
Upon further inspection, the lawnmower had a custom stereo, a bobblehead gator, and was allegedly registered to “Dale Mowhardt Jr.”
- Charge: DUI (Driving Under the Influence... of Dew)
- Quote of the Day: “I wasn’t driving, I was cruisin’.”
- Florida Man Meme gift shirt with vintage drawing of a Florida alligator.
- The perfect gift for any Florida man. Don't be caught by the police with this tee. Florida mugshot t-shirt
- Lightweight, Classic fit, Double-needle sleeve and bottom hem
Why Florida Man Gear Is So Popular with South Floridians
From the neon-soaked beaches of Miami to the gator-filled backroads of the Everglades, South Floridians don’t just appreciate the legend of Florida Man — they live it. Our wild headlines are practically local folklore, and Florida Man Gear lets people wear that chaos with pride.
It’s more than merch. It’s a badge of honor. A knowing nod to those who’ve witnessed shopping cart jousts in Publix parking lots, wrestling matches with pool gators, and impromptu dance battles on the beach at 2 a.m.
Florida Man Gear is for the bold, the bizarre, and the brilliantly unbothered — and that’s exactly why South Florida can’t get enough of it.
Craving More Florida Man Madness?
Think the headlines on our shirts are wild? Just wait until you read the stories behind them. Our blog dives deep into the real-life tales of Florida Man mayhem — from chicken-slinging drive-thru disputes to lawnmower highway stunts and everything in between.
It's part news, part folklore, and all Florida. Whether you're here for a laugh or just want to know why your neighbor made the 6 o’clock news, our blog has you covered.
Read the Blog